Once I landed a 767 at JFK after a snowstorm. The storm happened while I was in Paris and now sun was shining. Runways and taxiways were lined with sizable piles of plowed snow, with occasional large snowballs that had rolled back onto the surface. Normally the first chance to clear runway 4R (we say 4 right) is a “highspeed” taxiway that soon forks into taxiways named FA and FB (foxtrot alpha and foxtrot bravo). Pilots that frequent JFK know the dance; pace your speed to give tower a chance to tell you to split left (FA) or right (FB). Well this day the radios were quite busy and I was just starting a bid for the most conservative choice, FB, when tower instructed FA. I did what I could to switch from right to left, but my nose-wheel lost grip after a few degrees of turning and I was forced to bring the airplane to a full stop.
Now, pointing right at the apex of the fork, I tried a combination of differential power and opposite braking to assist the nose wheel in the effort to coax the airplane left. No dice. With the big snowballs in the vicinity of the right engine intake, I pushed the power up as high as I dared. The airplane said, “Sir, I’ll be happy to go straight, but if you need me to go left or right, you’ll need to give me more differential power”. How much do you think it would cost to suck a 10” snowball through a 767 engine? For a clue, start in the millions and then start multiplying. I had no option other than to shutdown and request a tug to come and push me backwards, a process that would undoubtedly take several minutes, airline minutes.
It was hard to see any runway markings through the plowed snow, but as the situation became a reality, I noticed I was not across the hold line. These hold lines were much farther from the runway than is typical, but technically I was still on the runway. I immediately advised the tower, and she responded by saying “Speedbird 115, go around.” That was a British Airways 747, followed by every other jet in sequence for 4R. Kiss about 10,000lbs of gas goodby just for the 747; I really moved the needle on my personal carbon footprint that day. The tower controller had already landed one or two airplanes behind me before I mentioned the hold line, which technically constitutes a runway incursion (normally a real big deal that puts somebody’s license on the line). I never heard another thing about that and it was quite possibly swept under the carpet with the assumption that nobody, including the Feds, would want to process such a complicated and blameless scenario that had no safety consequence in the end. The carpet sweep maneuver still happens sometimes; since everything is recorded, you really have to ask why anyone would bother to raise the issue, or assess personal deniability, before pretending it didn’t happen.
Captain’s Log 